It was another hot day in San Francisco California. People tried to keep themselves cool by wearing shorts and other such clothes but it didn’t help too much. The city was filled with middleclass houses lined up one by one. It was rare to see a poor or a very wealthy person in San Francisco. However this day there was a very wealthy man visiting San Francisco…Arnold Schwarzenegger. He wasn’t the only one though; Dante had just recently landed his private jet at a local airplane station. The two men were there for completely different reasons. One was there to sign autographs; the other was there to…piss people off.Dante told his drive to keep driving around until they found a local wrestling arena. After about an hour of searching they stopped by at a local mall. There seemed to be a long line leading into the mall, this gathered Dante’s interest.
Dante Romano: “Driver…stop here.”
[Hmm…must be an autograph signing going on inside. Perfect…I need a big audience…]
Dante Romano stared at the line for a few minutes when a sinister smirk came across his face. Dante got out of the limousine and told the driver to find a place to park. Dante made his way into the mall and saw that the line lead to a large table where Arnold Schwarzenegger was signing autographs. He saw a few men in suits walking around inspecting a line. Dante pulled the two men in suits over and talked to them. Meanwhile Arnold Schwarzenegger was signing autographs, shaking hands and thanking people that voted for him to be the governor of California.
Dante did not stand in the straight line like almost everyone else in the mall…he walked across from the line and made his way to Arnold.
Dante Romano: “Ok Arnold, thanks for coming but I need to talk to this crowd.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger: “What? Who are you? Get outta here! Don’t make me terminate you! AGHA! Guards, guards!”
[Whoa, talk about over reacting.]
The two men in black suits walk up to Dante as they nod at him and start walking away.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: “Where are you going?! I paid you two good money now come here and guard my body like body guards are supposed to!”
Body Guard 1: “Umm…apparently you didn’t pay us good enough money.”
The two bodyguards continued walking away.
Dante Romano: “Ok, are you gonna leave or what?”
Arnold Schwarzenegger: “Ah screw this! I don’t get paid enough for this shit!”
Arnold Schwarzenegger got up and walked away, a few people followed him but most of the crowd remained just to boo Dante for pissing of their governor. Dante saw a mic on the table that was connected to a little box. Dante picked up the mic and looked around at the crowd of people. A lot of the people in the crowd were wearing pink and yellow, even the men. Dante slightly chuckled to himself as he began to speak.
Dante Romano: “Well…hello everybody and welcome to the “Dante Romano Tour USA”. So far we have, New York and Illinois on the list…now to add onto that list with, California. I know I said I wouldn’t come here but hey…I just can’t help it, when I have the opportunity to piss people off, I take it. Sure you people and I may be different. I mean I prefer, wine in my mouth and you people…never mind.”
The audience began to boo Dante, as he shrugged.
Dante Romano: “Now, now…there is another reason I came here tonight other than to insult you people. I came here to talk to all of you about my matches against Seth Dryden and my tag match against Jake Lyon and your hometown girl, Heater DiRocco.”
The audience began to cheer at the name of Heater, as Dante rolled his eyes…almost predicting they would do that.
Dante Romano: “Seth is going to be my female dog once again. You guys know what female dogs are right? But I really want to talk about my tag match right now. I heard some interesting comments from Jake. So Jake, you’re undefeated? Well you haven't exactly had allot of matches in the SW yet, now have you? It’s not really something you should brag about, as you won’t have that undefeated title anymore.”
Dante Romano: “Ah and Heater...what’s there to say about her that hasn't already been said?”
Dante coughs while he utters the word “ho”.
Dante Romano: “Damn my throat is itchy. Heaters throat is too usually, she likes getting it scratched to relive her of her itch. What? There’s a flu going around. Anyway, Jake, your damn right this is a big match for you, I mean you'll never get a chance to face someone like me again. Consider yourself lucky. I mean a lot of wrestlers spend years just to get a chance to wrestle someone like me. Don’t take it for granted. By the way, I'm not one of the top guys in the SW...I am the top guy, ok Jake?”
Dante Romano: “And what’s that you were saying? I Choked? The only one that does the choking around here is Heater! I pretty much dominated every single match, including the last one. Redline was just riding the Dante wave. Redline took advantage of the fact that I was tired; I had eliminated Cameron, Seth and was the first to leave the cell in the first match.”
Dante Romano: “Jake…what are you an idiot? Boxing isn't even in the Olympics! Oh and…actually I did win a gold medal in wrestling. Might have been amateur wrestling but hey wrestling is wrestling. I have more than just boxing as a talent ya know. Unlike Heater who is good at only one thing…yeah you know what I’m talking about. Dante Romano experienced the only thing she’s good at.”
The audience continued booing him once again, even though you could hear a few scattered laughs.
Dante Romano: “What? I’m talking about her skills of insulting people! That’s all Jake and Heater are really good at, talking. Well I wouldn’t say they are that good. Ah what am I talking about both of them suck! Especially Heater.”
Dante smirked innocently.
Dante Romano: “Anyway, Jake, I was never trained to win matches like you. Why? Because I already could...I was a natural. And what's this about the 'old days'? Umm...I didn't stop boxing until only a few years ago.”
Dante Romano: “Jake, what do you mean that I am a disgrace to the name of wrestling? Your the one who came to the SW for the money, I could care less about what I get paid, I already have five times the money in my bank account than you will make in your life time. And uh… did you get dropped on the head or something? No one 'main events' in the Olympics...ah forget it, believe what ever ya want.”
Dante Romano: “Listen here, Jake you should be concentrating on wrestling not basketball. I don’t give a shit about Kobe or the Lakers…you see, unlike you I have a lot of interest I don’t just jabber on and on about a sport that is crap compared to wrestling.”
Dante Romano: “Trust me Jake, my great look, as you call it…are completely natural unlike Heaters tits. And another thing, you moron, I have not been with the SW since the beginning get your fucking facts straight. You are not the number one contender for the tag team title why? Because, this Friday I and my partner…what’s his name will be the number one contenders.”
Dante Romano: “Oh and when the hell did I say that women don’t belong in the ring exactly? I don’t know…maybe you ran out of “clever insults” that you just had to make up some crap…yeah that’s it.”
Dante Romano: “Well you’ve been a horrible crowd, you guys sucked. Pun intended. I’m gonna get the hell out of here, have a crappy day people. What? Do you people think I’m too cocky? Well I have to say…It’s hard to be humble when your as good as I am. Oh and I’d rather be a “grease ball” than a fucking white boy who gets everything handed to him…mainly hand jobs from male hookers…from San Francisco.”
Dante dropped the mic on the table and made his way out of the mall to another chorus of boos. He exited the mall, as he looked back he saw a crowd of people booing him as Dante shrugged it off. Dante made his way to a nearby parking lot and found his limousine waiting for him…
Respect The Present